Category Archives: growing up

growing up

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Adoption – Lets talk about it

Alright, Queens and Kings, I am finally getting a show produced! I am so excited to announce it. The title is Red Threads and it explores the theme of adoption from the perspective of those who have experienced it. If any of you out there have a view point and share the experience in some way, please let me know. The link is above. You know you can always contact me with your stories and comments as well. Your words are important. It only takes a few minutes and it will mean so much to me.

Rebecca wonders if her diploma is flammable…or “What should I do now???”

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On the occasion of her graduation Rebecca felt the curious sensation of monkeys trying to claw their way out of her chest. Or it could have been anxiety. Or it could have been the 5 hour energy shot. Whatever. She is now left with the question of what to do to fill her time and renew her bank account post-graduation. Let's look to the cards! Rebecca is an artist and her question regards future job prospects and general guidance so I will use the most obnoxiously comprehensive spread. Celtic cross it is:

The Querent: The Empress is the card that represents you in this reading, Rebecca. The Empress suggests you are a woman in charge. You are a domestic goddess ruling the roost with an iron spatula. You got skillet skills. You got garage-sale game….eh, thats enough. You get the picture. It also suggests an excess of feminine energy in the house, which we know is true. Is Scott drowning in the color pink? Does the thought of Disney drive him to inexplicably put on a football uniform and hunt squirrels in the back yard? Too bad, cause girls rule in your house.

What Covers You: The Ace of Pentacles reveals what's on your mind which is money. Money matters in this world and so this card signifying the beginning of your professional life making it is right on. I did some research about how artists make money. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Etsy is a sort of online crafter co-op. If you can McGiver pine cones into high fashion evening dresses then this is your new virtual shop. If you have a divine calling to repurpose medical waste into art then you will probably show up on regretsy, but apparently people still buy this horrific crap so its all good.Point is, there's money to be made in the art of fashioning garbage into slightly different shaped garbage. Plus, you can do it at home while downing a whole pint of chubby hubby and lounging in your pajamas. Wait, that's what I do minus the money. I'm doing it all wrong, dammit.
  • Artist/Rising is similar to Etsy but rather than crafters selling things that fell out of their bodies this features the work of artists who paint, draw, or photograph them instead.
  • Aquent is a job aggregate which specializes in employment for artists. The jobs are bone crushingly boring but probably offer a variety of adult-type benefits like health insurance or office supplies or something.
  • Workintexas.com is another job aggregate run by the U.S. department of labor which has, surprisingly, a greater number and selection of artistic jobs at a professional level that won't suck the fun out of your very existence on this earth. There are several listings for “sandwich artists” which I would avoid if I were you because I strongly suspect they are a front for a shanghai business which will rope you into a life of slavery on the open sea. Because there is nothing a pirate likes better than a well-made sandwich.
  • Craigslist you may recognize as your one-stop shop for your own personal serial killer/masseuse but did you know that they also offer a variety of classified ads completely free of charge? You can advertise your services as a muralist who specializes in my little pony paintings at the same time you look through the wanted ads! Shut-the-front-door! No, really, you can.

What Is Under You: Three of Pentacles reveals a solid foundation in co-operation and teamwork. Knowing what has occurred in your life in the far past helps to understand what you need to know for the future. Or some such Back-To-The-Future silliness. This card which depicts an artisan plying his craft gives us a glimpse of you as a student who played well with others. Or ate her paste. Either way you would do well working in a team of like-minded people. A little supervision would also be good just to avoid the whole paste eating fiasco again.

What Lies Beneath You: The Sun card tells of a recent revelation. You just graduated. You just decided you really are an artist. And a real girl, but your nose still grows when you lie. How about that. It could also be telling you to work on your tan. Or irradiate your inner self with rest and time to take in recent changes. I suspect the later is more likely. Except the “irradiate” part. Don't really microwave any part of yourself. Really I was just being cute with words. Cause that's how I do.

What Is Above You: The Justice card gives away your inner motivation to affect change for the greater good. Inside you burns the flame of a liberal do-gooder who believes in peace and hope and change and all that other happy crap. Go hug a tree or burn a bra for Pete's sake. You would do well working with children. If anyone needs and believes in the value of fairness it's a child.

What Lies Before You: The World card is indicative of your recent status as an autonomous adult. Congratulations to you in becoming an upstanding, college graduated, grown up member of society. Now to the next step of being a contributing member. You Can Do It! This card says you are ready. It also says to remember to pack a snack and a light jacket because you just never know. The cards are smart assed, I know.

Your House: The Wheel of Fortune card in the position of your direct environment tells you not to become a crazy shut in like me. The house is great, the home is wonderful, certainly don't take it for granted, but if you find yourself stockpiling Oreos online and ordering a hover-round for in-home use it's time to get out a little more. Alternately, this card could mean you could do a booming business selling your work from home. Hard to tell.

What Surrounds You: Four of Cups. Here is where I offer a note in the form of a quote: “Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” Andy Worhol said that. Virtually every other contribution by him was balls in my opinion but the quote stands. Shut every other voice out and listen to your inner self. Do what you and God believe best. The rest can go to hell. Or they can work at subway as a sandwich artist. Same diff.

Hopes and Fears: Ace of Cups shows a new opportunity being offered to you. You will soon have to chance to perform that interpretive dance number with the paper lanterns and spaghetti you thought up while you were coming down from the laughing gas when you had your wisdom teeth out. That was long winded. Sorry. Actually the opportunity could be in the form of a new bond or a new project of any kind, not necessarily interpretive dance related. Look out for it, don't let your opportunity slip away because it could seriously be the break or connection you are looking for.

Outcome: The Queen of Pentacles points the way to an intersection between commerce and fulfillment for you. You may never be able to turn bullshit into gold, but you will have money and you will be happy in the way you make it. Maybe you will become a moderately successful painter, maybe you will teach art to children, or perhaps you may even find career satisfaction making sandwiches for underprivileged pirates. Who knows? What I do know is you have reason to believe that the best will happen if you just pay attention to your own instincts.

That's it for now. Also, please forgive me for all the sandwich references. I was seriously hungry when I wrote this. In the future I will only work for thundercloud sub gift cards.

One more thing, if you like this post please “like” and rate it, pretty please with cheese on top? Thanks!

Dear Jane

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Jane at WONDERWIMP wonders if she will ever grow up. In a world where we , as a society, have collectively stepped into a time machine and traveled back to the dark-ages it is tempting to seek shelter in the safe harbor of non-adulthood. Can't say I blame you. Let's tackle that list of yours one item at a time, shall we?

Sun: Knight of Pentacles; For the sake of making your list fit into the 9 card reading of the celestial spread let's combine item numbers 1 and 2. $75 for one weeks pay you say? You are a babysitter, you say? The pay sounds on par with the job. And the knight of Pentacles card further affirms your excellent grasp of economics.

Earth: Seven of Pentacles; reversed, So you go to bed at 4 am and wake up a 1 pm? The card suggests an anxiety issue, which, let's face it, your upcoming release into the real world merits it. It's a big, bad messed up ole world out there. The good news is there are plenty of night jobs. Like this dispatch job for a bus company. You could cultivate a retro pin up look and give yourself a cool handle like Cookie or Toots.

Mars: Empress card is funny for this point. You are concerned that you will not be the competent housekeeper a mature adult should be? Washing dishes grosses you out? Well, don't have kids. If you think dishes are gross wait until you get a load of diapers. That's a whole new universe of gross. The Empress card says you have a few more years of pretty princess energy coming your way, so don't sweat it.

Jupiter: The Moon, if you think your youthful looks will hold out against that diet that is a combination of dorito tacos and deep fried crap then you are kidding yourself. I'm not saying you have to eat only raisins and cereal that tastes like roof shingles, but would it kill you to eat a brussels sprout? I'm shutting up now. Lecture over.

Saturn: Ten of Cups suggests that there is no shame in geotagging yourself and relying on public transportation. The honks you hear aren't anger, but rather a greeting peculiar to the inhabitants of your town. They also have a unique one-fingered salute. The proper response is either offer the salute in response to the honk or vice versa.

Uranus: Nine of Cups is a card of mastery, success and victory, so my suggestion is for you to grab your teddy bear, turn on every light in the house and explore every room in that house, hidey-holes and all. What's the worst that could happen? Sure Natalie Portman could pop out of a dark corner sporting a black tutu and excessive eyeliner, but what are the chances of that happening? Just don't blink. Kidding. Couldn't resist a Doctor Who reference.

Neptune: Seven of Cups in response to the difficulty of an irrational fear of Natalie Portman makes perfect sense. I would suggest avoiding these types of movies. Or you could have a Natalie Portman marathon and get it out of your system. Or you could just learn to sleep with the lights on. Your call. Flip a coin.

Pluto: Four of Swords, what are taxes you ask? Well. They are one of two in a list of inevitable outcomes in life. As in “death and …”. You can't avoid them. Luckily for you, you seem to gravitate toward under the table, cash on the barrel, night time employment so maybe you will only have to worry about the other inevitable. And death looks nothing like Natalie Portman.

Mercury: King of Pentacles, so 9 and 10 get lumped together on your list also. Because not cleaning your sheets and not cleaning anything else are the same thing. This card alludes to a person with a nutty professor vibe. Is this you? Do you lose your glasses on your face? Do you have ten of the same suit? If so, stop worrying. The world expects you to be a flake. They also expect you to be a mathematical genius and invent time travel. You can put people off for a while saying time travel is bad for the environment, but you will have to make good on the math. Either that or learn to clean. No one says you have to like it. Frankly I worry about people who do.

This wraps it up. I will say this, I know 40 year olds with worse hang-ups, but if you aren't ready to let go, don't. Best of luck to you, Toots. And don't take any Hummus nickels.