So, Morri tells me she is worried about the general atmosphere of weirdness surrounding her right now. My first thought is that she might have gremlins or evil leprechauns lurking around, just out of eyesight. Then I realized that made no sense whatsoever and consulted the cards. Just in case, though, I hear you can throw shoes at leprechauns and they will be compelled to stop and cobble them. If it’s gremlins you’re screwed, I know nothing about them.
Significator: Page of Pentacles; reversed is the card which represents the querent. I see a young woman being held back from a craft or artistic endeavor she is truly good at. It could be you lost that jumbo box of crayons you depended on. Perhaps you have misplaced your macramé mojo. Whatever the case, at your core you are an artist. Remove the road block between you and your creative life and you will be closer to the person you are meant to be.
What Crosses You: Seven of Swords represents the obstacles you face in your given situation. Speaking of obstacles, have you ever tried to type a sentence while your children chatter like howler monkeys in the middle of a three day bender? It’s exactly as easy as it sounds. Moving on. Your obstacles are complex, yet consistent. They have to do with how you view yourself versus how those around you see you. It is confusing to even those who have known you all your life that you look like an angel yet your inner thoughts would do Wednesday Adams proud.
What Covers You: Ace of Cups is a lovely card denoting the presense of magical forest animals that sing while they carry out your every household chore. Or do your evil bidding, which frankly seems more likely. Just don’t get carried away with your evil bidding. I think there are forest animal union rules. In all seriousness you appear to have a guardian angel watching over you. No matter how weird people get around you, you have a protective bubble.
What Crowns You: Strength always reminds me of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz smacking the crap out of the Lion for trying to scare Toto. In this case your ideals are Dorothy and your fears are the Lion. I don’t know who the hell Toto is. Why you gotta do yourself that way? You know you’re right, and you know you can get through this tough time.
What is Beneath You: The World hints at having a bed of roses beneath your feet. Either that or fertilizer. Or corn chips. Doesn’t really matter. What matters is you have a strong foundation and a position of strength.
What is Behind You: Death card is never the grim reaper breathing down your neck. That’s good news too, because death as a heavy breather is triple creepy. This card, instead represents a recent loss in a heated game of old maid. It is possible I could be mixing this up with a relatives well intentioned, yet mind- fuckingly bad attempt at setting you up on a blind date.
What Lies Before You: Nine of Wands means you have a few fights to win in the near future. You are ready for it, too, got your brass knuckles ready and everything. The wish for your kin to see you married off is the low level white noise sound track to the up coming battle. Keep cool, mamma, they mean well.
The Querent: Five of Wands represents a shift in perspective for you. Although you used to strictly believe in art for arts sake you are now seeing the value in charging what your time and talent are worth. About damn time. You are also using a new marketing approach which is good because those velvet Elvis paintings won’t sell themselves.
Your House:Five of Cups usually indicates a union, or marriage. In this case, with all these wands I believe this is a card that represents a union between idealism of the past and a new acceptance of the benefits of commerce. You get that money, honey, it’s good!
Hopes and Fears: Eight of Wands gives me a clear picture of the cause of strife. The time has come, baby bird, for you to leave the nest. The problem is, instead of shoving you over the side and hoping for the best, mamma bird has tied you to another egg in the nest. You know you need to go, she knows, everybody knows. It’s weird for you and everyone around. It’s going to be weird until the time comes when you can start a life of your own. The trick is letting them know this doesn’t mean you will lose your close relationship.
Outcome: The Hermit shows it is time to knit a hair shirt, abandon hygene habits, and move into a cave. Not really. The hermit holds in his hand a lantern illustrating the need to illuminate a dark path. If you feel you are trying to find your way in the dark perhaps you need time to yourself to contemplate what comes next. It is tempting to reach out for others when you find yourself lost, but you need to work this out on your own. You have the strength, the skill and the wisdom to do what needs to be done. Trust yourself and assure your friends and family they are always your rock solid foundation.
By far the least funny and most complex spread yet. That’s why it took so damn long. Hope it helps, Morri-bear!